| Cigarette | A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. |
| Love affairs | Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. |
| Marriage | It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master |
| Divo rce | Future tense of marriage |
| Lecture | An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”. |
| Conference | The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. |
| Compromise | The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. |
| Tears | The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .. |
| Dictionary | A place where divorce comes before marriage. |
| Conference Room | A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. |
| Ecstasy | A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. |
| Classic | A book which people praise, but do not read. |
| Smile | A curve that can set a lot of things straight. |
| Office | A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. |
| Yawn | The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. |
| Etc. | A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. |
| Committee | Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. |
| Experience | The name men give to their mistakes. |
| Atom Bomb | An invention to end all inventions. |
| Philosopher | A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. |
| Diplomat | A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. |
| Opportunist | A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. |
| Optimist | A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.” |
| Pessimist | A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY. |
| Miser | A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. |
| Father | A banker provided by nature. |
| Criminal | A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught. |