Jokes

Mumbai Meri Jaan

  1. Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
  2. Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
  3. There is no darkness in Andheri.
  4. Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
  5. No king ever stayed at Kings Circle. Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
  6. Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
  7. There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
  8. The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi..
  9. Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
  10. Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
  11. Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water
  12. Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
  13. Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
  14. Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies. But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!

 

AMCHI MUMBAI
A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible .

Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.

Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,

Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,

Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink,

Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon,

This is Mumbai my dear, But don’t fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

THINGS TO PROVE YOU’RE A BOMBAYITE

  1. You say ‘town ‘ and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
  2. You speak in a dialect of Hindi called ‘Bambaiya Hindi’, which only Bombayites can understand.
  3. Your door has more than three locks.
  4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
  5. Train timings ( 9.27 , 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
  6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
  7. You call an 8′ x 10′ clustered room a Hall.
  8. You’re paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it’s a ‘steal.’
  9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
  10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar  Road, Altamount Road .
  11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.
  12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the ‘Bombay Times’ supplement.
  13. You take fashion seriously. You’re suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
  14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
  15. You compare Bombay to New York’s Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
  16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
  17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
  18. You consider eye contact an act of overt
  19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
  20. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ”romantic’.
  21. Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken

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